Secure Love Triangle

The number one reason why people get divorced: Lack of emotional security. Human beings are limbically wired to rely on each other for emotional support.

How do you know if you’re in a relationship that’s emotionally secure? Dr. Sue Johnson, creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy, names these three essential characteristics:

1. Accessibility – The ability of one partner to be emotionally available to the other. It means being open, present, and receptive when the other reaches out. A partner who is accessible does not shut down, withdraw, or become emotionally distant.

2. Responsiveness – The capacity to tune into a partner’s emotional needs and respond with care and support. A responsive partner acknowledges their partner’s emotions, validates their feelings, and provides comfort rather than dismissing or ignoring their distress.

3. Engagement – A partner’s active emotional involvement in the relationship. Engaged partners are not just physically present but also emotionally invested, showing interest, affection, and a willingness to share experiences. They make their love and commitment clear through their actions and words.

Learn more about developing secure love from my free resource: The Language of Attachment