HEY LF TRIBE 🔥 Happy Thursday
Emotional risk is the deliberate choice to share your needs, feelings, or deeper meanings when the outcome is uncertain. It may require a baseline of trust in yourself and in the relationship—yet, paradoxically, it’s also the very thing that builds trust when it’s received with care.
Emotional risk isn’t a nice-to-have; it’s essential for building healthy adult attachment.
Risk vs. Vulnerability
Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Think of vulnerability as a state of openness. Emotional risk, on the other hand, is a practice—the action of stepping toward that openness on purpose.
This distinction matters. Risk implies a choice: I could stay quiet, I could protect myself, I could withhold. Or I can choose to take the risk—naming what I need, revealing what I feel, and inviting my partner into connection. When we see it this way, emotional risk becomes a courageous act of love.
Why Risk Matters in Relationships
Within the Healthy Adult Attachment Cycle (Need → Emotion → Relate → Trust), emotional risk is present in every stage:
Need: Risking acknowledgment that I have a need.
Emotion: Risking awareness and expression of what I feel.
Relate: Risking naming my need clearly and asking for what I hope for.
Trust: Risking belief that my partner will respond with care.
This is not easy work. But it is the work of building true intimacy.
The Emotional Risk Ladder
Think of emotional risk as a ladder we climb step by step, each level preparing us for the next:
Level 1 (low risk): “Could we plan a walk after dinner?”
Level 2: “I felt alone at the party; I need a check-in.”
Level 3: “I’m scared I’ll fail at this; I need to know we have a backup plan.”
Level 4 (higher risk): “When you pull away, I fear I don’t matter; can you reassure me?”
Each step takes courage. And each step, when met with care, builds trust.
How to Practice Emotional Risk
Here are some simple scripts you can adapt in your own relationship:
Gentle risk script: “I feel ___ about ___. I’m asking for ___ because it would help me feel ___.”
Responder script: “I hear that you feel ___. That makes sense because ___. Here’s what I can do now: ___.
Keep choosing to know yourself deeply and to bring that truth into the relationship, even when you’re not sure how your partner will respond.
love, linds